Tid-bit that brightened my dull day

Three words. Four syllables. Simple meaning....."Poopsy is dumb." Who is Poopsy? I shall tell you. Poopsy is my iguana that I have a hate grudge against. (hence the name) I have been tempted numerous times to release him into the cold wild, but I didn't have the heart to find him frozen somewhere, so I contained myself. He's a rude little lard butt who likes to freak out for no apparent reason. Compared to my other iguana who I loved dearly, Poopsy is jank. Oscar (a three foot long sweetheart) would chill with me and jump out of his cage onto my shoulder because he loved me. Poopsy would rather hang by his tail for a few hours than to have me touch him. He doesn't understand how loving I am. *snickers at the absurdity*

But anyways, why do I say that Poopsy is dumb? Well, I'll tell you ALL about it. I find joy in watching him do funny things. Here are some of the little instances that have almost made me pee.

Just today, I came home to him with his eye pushed really hard up against the glass. The eye was shut but pushed SUPER hard against the glass so when he backed up, there was a little circle of condensation.

Then the other night, he was climbing up on his screen. (top of his cage) I kept telling him he was gonna get stuck, but he wouldn't listen. I said, "If you get stuck and can't get down, I'm gonna have to help you, and if I do that, you might freak out and rip your toe off." Well, sure enough the little man was dangling upside down and couldn't figure out how to get down. He started swinging and somehow dislodged his toe nail.

A quirk my iguana has is this: ZERO SENSORY NERVES. When there's a huge stick stuck to his face, he acts like he doesn't even notice. For instance, the other day there was literally a piece of cedar stuck to his face that was like an inch long and really thick. I don't know how that heavy thing managed to stick so well on his face. But he just went about his day like he didn't realize a whole log was weighing his head down. Weird.

Anyways, for anyone who would like to experience my iguana's weirdness and laugh at his disturbing stunts...be my guest. Take him from me. I will try not to cry hysterically. He would need someone who is patient though because he needs to be trained not to hate people. *laughs at this* What a little wreck. He's cute though. *smiles and talks baby talk*