"Paper Match-ee"

Yes, "paper match-ee" is paper mache, but we like to call it paper match-ee because......we just do! We don't have to give a reason I don't think, so I won't.
Let me give you MY definition of paper match-ee. It is where you sit on your butt for many minutes on a hard floor and your gluteus maximus really starts to ache. You begin to wonder why you did paper match-ee anyways. You stick your clean hands into a big bowl of goop (made of flour and water) and slap it on and all over a piece of thin newspaper. The newspaper gets to be about a hundred pounds because of the goop, so you have to use a little elbow grease and raw muscle to get into onto the surface. "What surface?" you may be asking....well most likely it will be a surface that is huge and that will take about a year and 27 days to cover fully (not counting the drying time) so, you will cover a surface with the goopey paper. Layers and layers must go on, or at least that's what the pro-paper-match-ee-ers say. Sooooo, soon enough, a year and 27 days later, you have an ugly, rock hard surface that looks like poop. THEN you have to paint it and make it look worth while. (That's a whole other issue, that I would rather not go into as of now.) So, when you finally get done with the process, your fingers get stuck together and you have to un-stick them with a chisel. Yes, a chisel. Either that, or rub them against a hard, rough rock with sharp edges. Either one would work. And while you do this, people with soft, healthy hands stand by and mock you. They point fingers and make you feel like the biggest freak on the planet. They call you "flour-child." It's very humiliating.......and VERY FUN!