Friday, April 29, 2011
So the thing that i thought was awesome was that once they got married they were Duke and Duchess of Cambridge!!! I was like WOW!!!!! NO WAY!!!! I dunno I just thought I was cool!!!!*purses lips and looks around weirdly* but the weird thing about that is that they were given those names by the queen like that was a gift from the queen!!!!! Isn't that weird?!?!?!?!!? But yeah so just wanted to tell you guys bout that!! So peace love bacon,
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Imagine with me! *sets stage*
We are in Spanish I. Mrs. Martin is saying something about pronouns and la madre, but you can't pay attention because all you know is that someone just released a nuclear fart bomb. Your eyes sting. You've never smelt anything like this; you compair to you father's toots. THIS IS WAY WORSE! Thoughts cross your mind like, "Am I the only one who is smelling this? I hope none of the boys think it was me" and "When is it going to end!?"
Just as a break in the "fog" comes through, another wave of HORRID stench comes through. You hold you breathe and hope for the best. It happens 2 more times, and just as soon as you feel that you are going to erupt into laughter from the irony of it all going in SPANISH CLASS, Mrs. Jane releases you from class.
You then proceed to help put away the Spanish chairs and tables. Phillip Crisp is standing there with a broom and looks up innocently and asks," Is it just me or does it smell like really bad fart in here?" You die laughing and Ellen, Shiphrah, and Phillip all join in.
In the hallway you continue the fart convo with the eldest girl of the Dooley clan, and the tallest daughter of the Oakes group. You discuss the PAIN that you felt from lack of breath, how the person MUST have had beans or cabbage , and who you think it is. You erupt into laughter for Shiphrah knows who it is. Your insides hurt from the thought of it all.
Your Dad comes to pick you up and you relay the story to him. He guesses what you are going to say before the words come out of your mouth. "Some one passed gas, huh?" are his exact words. He wheezes and swerves the car because he is laughing. He tells you, that you should have randomly bursted into laughed and said with a Spanish accent," Man, those burritos. They really get to 'ya."
You get home and the 1st thing that crosses your mind is sharing your rib ache with you fellow bloggers. And here is where the story ends.
So who was the culprit that bombed it's fellow classmates? Only a few will know, and it will NOT be you. Adios amigos.
Keeping a safe distance from anything gaseous,
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
See this? *looks at it* Wow....this is creepy beyond all reason. I'm seriously sitting at this computer in awe of how freaky this bunny is. The kid seems to agree with me. I wouldn't want to be within 40 ft. of this dude, my less sitting on his lap. *shakes head* What parents put their children through.....would you like to see more?
Well, this little girl seems to be enjoying herself, but that bunny behind her looks like he is possessed. That thing is not even cute. What is going on here? It gets worse.
Need I say anything? No seriously, just stare at this for a while and ask yourself what exactly the designer was thinking when they created this. It's really disturbing. You know what else is disturbing? This looks like it's at the Watson's house......*appalled gasp* Carlee, is that you?
Look at this one! I'd be crying too! His eyes looks like gigantic chasms of death! And look at it's smile.....*stares at it and laughs hysterically*
I'm really wishing I was there, cause I would've smashed this things head in with a rock. It looks like paper mache! And that kid looks like he's saying faintly, "Grandma....."
Baby sees...............baby cries. That's the story of the Easter Bunny's life.
Now! Here is the worst one of all! Poor baby is probably filling his little diaper.
Yep, that's all I have! I just thought I would share the cruelty/hilarity of this whole thing. *sighs*
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I would like to point out that I'm ahead on the common sense poll, so we will see about that (although I'm mortified that Becca somehow managed a vote...she probably voted for herself).
As for me? I'm not burning. I'm completely cool over here, because I know that you are just lashing out in anger (because you know the truth and it hurts) and you will be fine when you come face to face with reality. Could be a while by the looks of it, but I have hope that you will eek out a meager existence by relying on the sun to wake you up in the morning. Whatever fantasies you have about being smarter than me in the meantime, isn't my problem. I know the truth and pray that one day you will too. I know a good counselor, call me. ;)
Anyway!!!!! This is for ashley!!!!*smiles evilly*
Ashley!!!!! WHAT THE CRUD IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE HONORED TO BE TIED WITH ME ON THE POLL!!!!! The only reason you think, wait wait wait
Let's emphasize MAJORLY on the think part so!!! The only reason you THINK I'm stupid is because every time I'm around you I have to come down to YOUR level!!!! You got that?!?!?!!
Well here let me put it in your language. Me not really stupid. I just acting!!! And acting means pretending!!! Kinda!!!! ;)
So therefore since I feel bad like normal that youre well....not normal. I told everyone to vote for you!!! So therefore( haha can't you tell I love that word!!!) that's the ONLY reason you're winning right now!!!
Wait *sniffs* do you smell something burning?!!? haha oh wait that's just you!!!!!!!
*does a really deep voice* MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Love,bacon and well haha me completely burning ash,
I just thought I would talk about how much I love key time flavored stuff. For real. Its so tangy and it makes a crease in my forehead. Don't you love when that happens? Just having a little crease in your forehead is great. You can reach up, touch your forehead and say, "Oh wonderful! the grand canyon is in my forehead!" And it makes you salivate Niagra Falls.
Take for example the wonder of key lime pie, in all its radiant magnificence. It's amazing! The crumbly crust and the tower-of-babel-like dollop of cool whip. The cold thickness of the pie is so refreshing and you feel it travel through your esophagus. It gets stuck in your teeth, but WHO CARES! You smile anyways because you cannot resist the urge to show everyone just how happy key lime has made you. People stare and you wave at them.
And remember, I never steer you wrong. *wink*
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
*dusts off hands*
If that is as much common sense I am thought to have, then I should just bury my head in the sand like an ostrich to prove a point!
Me tied with Jessyca? I mean, I would understand if Ronald Reagen were up there or something...But Jessy?
FINE! Have if your way!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ANNA RENTFRO!!!!!!!
She has officially won the challange!!!! Anna we will get the $5 to you sometime this week! Most likely!
Sorry to the people who guessed and got it wrong!!!! But thanks for guessing!!!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
P.S. There's an air freshener and it goes off every like 10 or 15 minutes and it's scares the POOP out a me every time!!! And it's freaking annoying!!!!!
Bored,freaked out,annoyed,havin to pee *takes deep breath* Jessy
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
But anyways, why do I say that Poopsy is dumb? Well, I'll tell you ALL about it. I find joy in watching him do funny things. Here are some of the little instances that have almost made me pee.
Just today, I came home to him with his eye pushed really hard up against the glass. The eye was shut but pushed SUPER hard against the glass so when he backed up, there was a little circle of condensation.
Then the other night, he was climbing up on his screen. (top of his cage) I kept telling him he was gonna get stuck, but he wouldn't listen. I said, "If you get stuck and can't get down, I'm gonna have to help you, and if I do that, you might freak out and rip your toe off." Well, sure enough the little man was dangling upside down and couldn't figure out how to get down. He started swinging and somehow dislodged his toe nail.
A quirk my iguana has is this: ZERO SENSORY NERVES. When there's a huge stick stuck to his face, he acts like he doesn't even notice. For instance, the other day there was literally a piece of cedar stuck to his face that was like an inch long and really thick. I don't know how that heavy thing managed to stick so well on his face. But he just went about his day like he didn't realize a whole log was weighing his head down. Weird.
Anyways, for anyone who would like to experience my iguana's weirdness and laugh at his disturbing stunts...be my guest. Take him from me. I will try not to cry hysterically. He would need someone who is patient though because he needs to be trained not to hate people. *laughs at this* What a little wreck. He's cute though. *smiles and talks baby talk*